“Sweet Days of Discipline” by Fleur Jaeggy (translated by Tim Parks)

In this novella, Jaeggy writes about her boarding school days and her first great love, Frederique, “She spoke to no one. Her looks were those of an idol, disdainful. Perhaps that is why I wanted to conquer her. She had no humanity.” Even while living in Appenzell, Frederique lived in a world apart. “She was more interested in ideas than in human beings. Though one can hardly speak of human beings in boarding school. At table sometimes I would hear her laugh her gratuitous laugh that haunted me in my sleep. I turned, and everybody’s face was serious.” For Jaeggy, boarding school was the formative experience. “I see my little companions from when I was eight years old, in bright white sheets, with their smiles, their lowered eyelids; their gaze has slipped away. We shared our beds with them. In prisons too, the prisoners don’t forget their cellmates. They are faces that both fed and devoured our brains, our eyes. There is no time, at that time. Childhood is ancient.”